


A Soft Touch

by lighthouse_at_sea



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Episode: s04e25 Body Parts, Fluff, Gen, Mpreg, Pre-Slash, Pregnancy, Trans Julian Bashir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23643547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lighthouse_at_sea/pseuds/lighthouse_at_sea
Summary: "Bajorans gestate too fast. You'd vascularize too quickly and attempting to transfer the baby back would likely cause massive internal hemorrhaging. If there's any hope of putting the baby back in Keiko, it has to be me."
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 14
Kudos: 89





	A Soft Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am with another one shot. But I had a fun time writing it and that's all that matters.

Julian gripped the sides of his seat and ignored the calculations on their chances of survival running through his head.

The short trip had been a resounding success. Keiko was thrilled about all the samples she had collected, Kira had been forced to take a break from her usual duties, and there had been a distinct lack of medical emergencies, leaving him free to study sample compounds and sleep much more in the past three days than he got in a week on the station.

But after dropping out of warp for the last leg of the journey, an asteroid cluster had snuck up around them. A stray fragment had suddenly turned to a bombardment, and by then, they were too far in that warping out ran the very real risk of smashing the runabout to space dust.

"Almost there," the Major ground out as she fought with the control panel. Julian marveled at her handling of the shuttle, as precise as any surgery without even being able to see all the way around her, just the sensor readings to guide her movements. However, despite the Major's skill, there was nothing anyone could do when the next asteroid came into view just as the computer calmly stated that the deflectors were offline.

"Brace for impact!" Kira shouted.

Julian crouched and covered his head and neck. The shuttle shook around them, mechanical hums turned into whines and whistles. Sparks burst. There was an explosion of gas leading to a burst of flames somewhere to his right.

When the shuttle stabilized and he was sure he wouldn't go flying and be of no use to anyone, he leapt up and assessed the damage.

Both women hadn't been as lucky as him. Kira was slumped over the console and Keiko had been thrown out of her seat entirely. The space outside the viewscreen was serenely empty, as if there had never been an asteroid field to begin with.

Scrambling out of his seat, he rushed towards Keiko who laid prostrate near a bulkhead. The tricorder readings were grim. Concussion, broken ribs, internal hemorrhaging. He tore his med kit off his shoulder and began to catalogue what repairs he could do with so little facilities.

"Doctor!" He glanced towards Kira, who had regained consciousness.

"We're clear of the asteroids. It will take forty-five minutes to get back to the station."

Forty-five. Too long. "Bring us to a stop, Major. I can stabilize her, but the baby…"

Kira was out of her seat and at his side in an instant. "What can I do?"

Julian looked over the readings again and went over it in his head. Ah. Okay, that could be done. Unorthodox was a word he might use, but this was life or death. "You're going to need to perform surgery."

"What!? What are you talking about?"

"The baby can't survive with the amount of trauma Keiko's body just received. Forty-five minutes is too long for me to keep them both alive, so I need to get the baby to a new womb."

Kira blanched, but nodded once. "Me."

Julian drew a tight smile. "No, Major. Me." He ran to the replicators and Kira stared after him. Julian began to program the replicator to make the necessary supplies as Kira gathered Keiko into her lap and clasped her limp hand.

"Bajorans gestate too fast. You'd vascularize too quickly and attempting to transfer the baby back would likely cause massive internal hemorrhaging. If there's any hope of putting the baby back in Keiko, it has to be me."

Arms laden with various devices, he approached his companions and set down the pile of instruments between Keiko and himself, holding on to a singular hypo. He administered the numbing agent into Keiko's leg and, after propping himself in a reclined position, hovered the hypo over his own.

"Kira, I can direct you every step of the way and assist when I can, but I need to know that you'll be able to do this."

The Major stared at him in agony. "It's the best choice?"

"Yes. It's alright. You'll do fine. And the baby will be okay, I promise."

She sighed and looked at the ceiling, taking in a deep breath. She let it out. "Okay. Then I'm ready."

Julian pressed in the hypo, and everything below his arms went numb.

* * *

Miles rushed to the infirmary, finding Kira hovering outside the surgery room, gaunt expression making his heart leap to his throat.

"Major!"

Kira turned toward him, her expression loosening up. She put a hand on his shoulder. "Keiko's still in surgery but she's going to be just fine."

"The baby? Oh my God."

"The baby's fine too. But…"

Oh god. "But what!?" _Spit it out!_

"The baby… had a change of address."

_And what on Earth was that supposed to mean?_

Julian chose that moment to walk out, sporting his ridiculous surgery suit along with one other noticeable feature. "Keiko's going to be alright."

Miles could only stare, mouth floundering to find words.

"Julian! What the hell happened out there?"

Julian flinched. "Maybe it would be best to debrief with Captain Sisko."

"Debrief? Julian, you're having my baby!"

* * *

Miles stared at his friend sitting across from him. The man looked haunted and vaguely ashamed.

"It was all I could do. I'm sorry. If Kira hadn't performed the surgery, both of them could have died."

The Captain nodded for him to go on. Julian fidgeted with his hands, slightly rocking in his chair as he continued his story.

"The only people there were Major Kira and me. Bajorans gestate too quickly, and if I had performed the surgery on Kira, she would have had to carry the baby to term. I couldn't ask her to make that type of decision when we were under so much pressure."

"I see your reasoning Doctor, but letting Kira perform such a delicate surgery when she has no medical background was completely irresponsible."

Julian buried his head in his hands. "You're right. I would never have forgiven myself if anything had gone wrong."

"But… I suppose it all worked out alright," Sisko conceded and leaned back, lost in thought.

Miles couldn't help but stare at the bump of the baby in Julian's body. "So when can you, uh, give the baby back?"

The question seemed to help Julian, who gave a small smile as he switched into doctor mode.

"Well we can't wait too long; I've given Keiko hormones to mimic a pregnancy, but once she's back on her feet, I'd like to have the surgery performed as soon as possible. My nurses are more than qualified, and these are much better facilities than the runabout, there shouldn't be any complications."

Miles nodded, maybe a bit too much.

"Well, I should get back to the infirmary."

"I expect a full report," the Captain informed his friend. "Both of you, dismissed."

* * *

Julian jammed his fingers into the back of his neck as he curled more into himself. As the last traces of numbing agent left his system, he could do nothing more than lie there, wrapped in his sheets and accept some of the more uncomfortable, indescribable pain he could remember enduring. He had taken all the relaxants and hypos he safely could, but his body didn't seem to care. Simply put, it hadn't been expecting a pregnancy and was now hellbent on making itself _useful_. At this point, just about every organ in his system should be kicking into overdrive, he was swimming in hormones, and he was positively ravenous. If only the thought of eating didn't make him want to throw up. But the baby was being taken care of. That was all that mattered.

He had been relieved of duty after approximately twenty minutes in the infirmary. Nurse Jabara had patted him on the shoulder, said she could hold down the fort, and all but ordered him out to get some rest. Rocking and pulling himself into yet another different position, curled up with his back arched towards the ceiling, he was ready to send the woman a thousand bouquets of flowers.

He had thrown up once already, and his feet ached. Sure, he had been punched and kicked, been concussed and hungover, he had gotten used to every ache and twinge that came with his monthlies. But this was another thing entirely.

He groaned and shifted again.

The chime of his door literally made him want to cry.

"Come in. Computer, lights. 20 percent."

A pair of footsteps padded across the threshold of his quarters.

"Julian?"

"In my room," he said in what he hoped was his usual voice, scrunching his eyes up before he psyched himself up enough to manage a sitting position.

"Julian, you look awful."

Julian managed a wry smile. "You know, I opted not to have anything done but the top surgery, because in the back of my mind, I thought it might be nice, you know? To have a child of my own."

Miles just stood silently in the doorway.

Sitting took too much energy. He flopped back down and frowned at the ceiling. "Why can't humans just bud? Like Vilix'pran. He barely has to go off-duty when he's budding. And Bajorans? They give births so calmly. Someone dying during pregnancy is practically unheard of."

"What you're doing for Keiko and me… Thank you."

Julian shrugged and closed his eyes. "It's really no problem, chief. Not many people get a test run at this sort of thing."

"How is it?"

"Miles… Being pregnant is awful." He burst into giggles and he heard Miles force out a laugh of his own. Once he schooled his features, he let out a sigh. He angled his head so he could at least look near his friend.

"But I'm glad this is how it turned out. The baby's okay, Keiko's okay, Kira's okay."

"Anything I can do?"

"Thanks for the offer, but I pretty much just want to lie here."

"Right. Well, I'll leave you to it."

"Thanks."

"Night, Julian."

"Night."

It was morning and Julian awoke only marginally less tired than before he had fallen asleep. 

He had dragged a chair so he could plop in front of his replicator and figure out what he was going to eat along with the pile of pills and hypos. Just about everything sounded appealing at the moment, his nausea having subsided some time during the night, and so he was busy programming in his order when his door chimed.

"Come in."

"Doctor."

Julian's face immediately burst into a grin, but he tried to hide the depths of it as he turned around to face his new guest. "Garak. How have you been?"

Garak walked in, hands clasped behind his back. "Oh, I've been keeping myself busy. A new order just came in for a traditional Andorian wedding. Four ensembles, quite the undertaking. And I heard you have been kept busy yourself."

The Cardassian moved his hands from behind himself and revealed a large to-go container from Quark's in one hand and a fork in the other.

"The dish you insisted you'd pay triple credits for two months ago if you could have it non-replicated."

Julian stared in disbelief, then happiness. Garak walked up and deposited his offering lightly in Julian's hands after he had finished flapping them in jittery delight. Julian looked up at Garak then down at the eggs and rich ghee. He greedily ripped off the lid, replicator platter already slipping from his mind as the warm aroma reached his nose. "Beid bel basterma."

"Ah. Yes, I had forgotten the term."

Julian rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you did." He then got up, put the container down on his table, and dragged his chair back to it as well.

"I hope you don't mind that I'm going to scarf this down and insult your refined Cardassian sensibilities."

"I think I can make an exception just this once."

"Join me, please. Feel free to have something from the replicator."

"I've already eaten, but I wouldn't mind joining you."

Julian was smiling a lot this morning. He tried to savor his breakfast, and to be fair, he did. He even stopped in the middle to take all his medication. But in the end, he was scraping the sides and already mentally planning to go to Quark's and order this again for the next morning's breakfast. Or maybe for lunch in a couple of hours.

As he ate, Garak told him fascinating stories about his work, people he had talked to, books he was thinking about reading. It was easy to sit back and hum along.

"Thanks for everything, Garak."

"It was no trouble at all, doctor. On Cardassia, a pregnancy is something to be celebrated. Letters of congratulations, meals, herbs, comfort items, children's toys and clothes. It is a time for friends and family to celebrate. And I have missed being able to do so since coming here. No one seems to want the exiled Cardassian anywhere near their unborn child."

"Well, I'm very happy you're here. Although I will also be very happy when Keiko gets her baby back."

"Yes, there is that. But rest assured, if you ever have a child of your own, I will be here for you."

The sincerely and intensity in Garak's eyes made it hard for Julian to doubt it, which made him all soft inside. "You'll be first on the invite list to the baby shower."

Garak nodded once and leaned back, satisfied.

"What about you, Garak? Any desire for children?"

"Oh yes. Lots, if it can be arranged. A spouse would be ideal, but I am not opposed to a life of single parenthood. But as long as I live here on a station that faces a new threat every week and no school or childcare system whatsoever, I could not, in good conscious, seek to have a child."

Julian tried not to be surprised at Garak's immediate response. He supposed they had really never talked about family and children with the exception of the fictional lineages of Cardassian repetitive epics, and Garak _was_ a Cardassian, but hearing it all laid out was still a bit jarring.

"A little gaggle of Garaks. That would be a sight."

"It would, wouldn't it?" Garak said with one of his lovely smiles.

They sat for a while longer, but soon Garak had to get to work and Julian had to visit Keiko for a check-in.

"Tonight, doctor, come to my quarters. I will make you dinner."

"I might not be pregnant tonight," Julian warned, trying not to feel like Garak was much more interested in the child he carried than himself.

"In that case, your body will need to recover from yet another shock. 0900 if you would be so kind."

Julian leaned on the doorway as Garak waited for an answer. "Alright. I'll be there."

* * *

Keiko was feeling alright, all things considered. Physically, she could barely stand on her own, but Miles had been wonderful in taking care of her and her baby was alright.

A small knock at the bedroom door brought her away from her thoughts.

"Come in."

Seeing Julian for the first time since everything that had happened was a bit unsettling, but she got over it quickly. In fact, she didn't know how she could ever repay him for his quick thinking and willingness to go above and beyond in terms of helping a patient. But that's just how Julian was.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as he scanned her.

"Oh, I'm doing alright. Having a bit of trouble walking and taking deep breaths."

"Any dizzy spells?"

The doctor continued being attentive and polite as he checked her over and Keiko settled into him fussing about.

"You're definitely on your way to recovery. Now, I think tomorrow morning you should come in for a full-body scan, and if everything looks alright, we can go ahead with the surgery."

Keiko sighed happily and nodded, relief washing over her. "Yes, that sounds wonderful." She had been afraid to ask, but now the worry was put to rest.

"Julian, after all this, Miles and I are treating you to dinner. You deserve it."

"I am immensely happy all my friends have decided to show their affection with edible gifts, because I have not stopped being hungry since all this started."

Keiko's laugh was a bit painful, but she was just happy she had something to laugh about.

* * *

Julian hovered outside of Garak's quarters, hesitating to ring in. It was only 0850, he should have timed this better.

In the end he stood there for another two minutes, then gathered up the courage to announce his presence.

"Doctor, how nice of you to stop by," Garak said, having opened the door within ten seconds of the chime.

Julian smiled. "Thank you for having me."

Garak directed him inside and to the table, where an array of dishes varying in familiarity were laid out.

"I took the liberty of cooking some of your favorites as well as some from Cardassia that we customarily eat during pregnancies. I also checked the ingredients of each dish here to ensure that none were detrimental to human pregnancies."

"Thank you. I love how much family means to your culture," Julian said, sitting down and glancing around. "What's this one?"

The dish in question looked to be a type of soup, light pink in color.

"That is gesyik, a mixture of nutritious Cardassian fruits and zada, a type of sweet gourd which gives it its color."

Julian had a bit of everything, trying the Cardassian ones first. In comparison to the stray bites he took pleasure in wheedling off of Garak's plate in the Replimat, the dishes were sweet, light, and subdued. 

Garak briefly explained that one of the most common characteristics of Cardassian pregnancy was an utter lack of appetite to the point of recorded cases of willingly starving to death. Even though Cardassia now had nutrient supplement pills for people to take, there were still many traditional dishes made to be light but packed with the most nutrients possible.

Julian found the speech fascinating and doubly so to experience Garak voluntarily share a piece of Cardassian culture medical in nature.

In return, he talked at length about human pregnancies, having no such cultural stigma to keep anything under wraps.

Julian helped Garak clear the table as they talked and, without paying much attention, carried the conversation over to the sofa.

"And I feel him kick sometimes! I just can't believe it. I mean, I know it's going to end tomorrow, but for right now…"

He looked down at his belly and gingerly placed a hand on himself. If he had a kid, and that was a big if. But if he did, he would do right by them. Would love and care for and accept however his child turned out to be.

"Are you alright, my dear?"

Julian looked over to Garak, who had obviously notice him go quiet.

"I'm just wondering if I'll ever get to experience this again. And… if I'd be a good parent…" He ducked his head in shame.

Garak lightly touched his arm.

"You would make a wonderful father. You are kind and compassionate and stern and dependable."

Maybe he should have suppressed his sudden desire to be held, but it was too late as Julian leaned into Garak and felt his friend tense underneath him. Julian held his breath and slowly, Garak relaxed, bringing a hand to press against his back.

"It's going to be alright, my dear Doctor."

* * *

Julian was happy to announce that Keiko was cleared for the procedure. Keiko was thrilled and Julian took comfort in placing his hand against the baby one last time.

After that, it wasn't long before both of them were laid down on adjacent biobeds and his team finalized their preparations. A soft hiss of a hypospray put him to sleep, and in the next moment, he was blinking awake.

Glancing down toward his stomach and then over at the stirring occupant in the next bed, he broke into a tired grin.

The chemically induced sleep was slow to dispel.

As he laid there, staring up at the ceiling and vaguely being aware of his nurses moving about, he ran through the past couple of days. Not having such a harrowing medical emergency in the first place would have been ideal, but it had all worked out. And he had even been able to experience something he hadn't truly considered in a long time.

He still wasn't sure if children were in his future, but after the subtle joy of having a child growing and kicking inside him and the reaffirmed determination to be better than his own parents, he was thrilled to think that maybe the family life could suit him, someday down the road.

**Author's Note:**

> <3
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
